Ciaran Watkins – A Useless Product For The Daily Mail Generation

Posted on March 25, 2011 by


Okay, this is going to be a short one, but here’s a prime case of badvertising. The advert it self is fine, but seriously, what the fuck is it advertising? A ‘no-touch’ soap dispenser. What a brilliant idea! Now we don’t have to touch the soap dispenser nozzle any more. We don’t have to have hundreds of thousands of bacteria breeding on top of our soap bottles, which then transfer to our hands whenever we touch it! Marvellous.

Oh wait, no it’s fucking not. When do we touch the soap dispenser nozzle? When we’re about to wash our fucking hands, that’s when! We may increase the germ count on our hands for that millisecond of time before we, you know, use the soap in our hands to wash the germs away, but that’s exactly why we’ve touched the soap dispenser nozzle in the first place! Jesus Christ. What an idiotic product. It’s clearly aimed at the ‘cotton wool’ generation of mothers. It’s for mums who buy Dettol disinfecting spray, and follow their children around spraying everything they touch. It’s a bunch of nonsense. If you’ve ever thought about buying one of these, then I am going to ask you to slap yourself in the face. Do it. Now. Very hard. And then ask yourself why you did that. You did it, because you’re an idiot. Don’t buy stupid things because an advert tells you to. Kids are supposed to get dirty, as it builds their immune system. This is a useless product, and you should feel bad for wanting it.

Read more over at Whatever’s In There, Falls Out Here.

Posted in: Ciaran Watkins