F is for Faye: 101. Wedding Etiquette

Posted on April 11, 2011 by

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… Not my wedding etiquette, but Royal Wedding etiquette.

Apparently an etiquette guide has been issued to all guests going to the Royal Wedding. Some highlights include

Guests are asked to arrive at least 20 minutes before the ceremony begins – which, to be quite honest, is damned well expected. I hate lateness and I’m pretty sure I’ll be bang on time for my wedding, or at least five minues early!

When you meet the Queen, she puts her hand out first and you address her as Your Majesty. In conversation you address her as Ma’am, to rhyme with jam or ham, not palm – Ham and jam, not palm. Brill.

During the formal dinner a lot of people won’t know how to use a knife and fork properly, let alone which cutlery to choose from – I’ll repeat this one, in particular “a lot of people won’t know how to use a knife and fork properly.” Yes, anyone who is not of royal descent eats with their fingers and shovels their food in with the palms.

My favourite one – they have been told not to look at Kate, the Queen or any of the royals while serving – now, how the chuffing nora are you supposed to serve food to the Queen or Nearly Queen Kate whilst not bloody looking at them? Ma’am and Kate will end up with roast spuds down their dresses and one would not be pleased.


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Posted in: F is for Faye